Tag Archives: Funny

REVIEW: Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

16 Jan

Author: Alice Clayton
Genre: Contemporary, Romantic Comedy, Erotic

The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she’s gaining an intimate knowledge of her new neighbor’s nocturnal adventures. Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy’s athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) like an endless parade of women. And since Caroline is currently on a self-imposed dating hiatus, and her neighbor is clearly lethally attractive to women, she finds her fantasies keep her awake even longer than the noise. So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts Simon Parker, her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin, and the results just as mixed. Suddenly, Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighborly…

In a delicious mix of silly and steamy, Alice Clayton dishes out a hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight…

Look alive people. O has left the building. And no, I’m not talking about Oprah.

Can I dish out six stars? I think I just did.
I give it 6 “O-filled-zucchini-bread-eating-sizzling-hot-panty-incinerating-tear-dropping-hold-your-tummy-cause-this-book-is-hilariously-epic” stars.

P.S: O is for Orgasm. Don’t look at me like that.

This book was WALLBANGING great. It was so funny and I probably looked like a retard all through this read.

It was filled to the brim with sexual frustration, O-lessness, Zucchini bread, and one hilarious page after the other. I freaking loved it. The wit, the snarky dialogue, the characters, the cat. Yes, you read right. The cat was part of my enjoying this book. And I mean the animal, not my innocent way of referring to the hoohah. So good.

Caroline AKA “pink nightie girl” just became my favourite Female character this year. It was entertaining reading her POV. Did I mention she refers to ‘lower Caroline’ in the third person? That’s right. After her ‘O drought”, she sort of started to talking to it. I know.

And Simon AKA “Wallbanger”, well, I liked him. Despite his harem, well it’s what Caroline called it. Any other time I would have minded it, but hey, they were adults and all consenting. Whatever floats their boat. Who am I to judge?
Anyway my point is, I liked Simon. Come on, you know me by now. Any book that has a sarcastic, funny and ‘charming’ main guy is an instant love for me. *cough* *cough* and hot *cough*

I started reading this one and I didn’t want to put it down.

The other characters were also well developed. So good. And the last chapter in the Cats POV -don’t ask, just go with it- was just the cherry on the sexual-frustrated-not-even-George-Clooney-can-bring-back-the-O awesome cake.

I wanna read it all over again.

*And I know this review seems a bit off, you can’t blame me. I’m still feeling the rush of this read 😀

Follow me on twitter Dee@The perks



REVIEW: Only By His Touch by Bree Kraemer

6 Jan

Title: Only By His Touch
Author: Bree Kraemer
Genre: Contemporary Romance.

Recommend it: YES
Recommend it to Who: Anyone in need of a charming, witty and passion-filled romance novel.

You can get your Kindle version from Amazon.

Note: I got a free copy of this book from the author in exchange for my very honest review.

Several years after a tragic event, Samantha still finds herself unable to get close to others. The slightest bump into someone makes her cringe and she avoids handshakes as much as possible. She can’t even touch her close friends and family. It seems she will never be able to overcome that terrible, life-changing day.

Until one day, she sees a man that may change everything for her. This man seems so familiar and without even thinking it through she has an undeniable urge to touch him. Where does she know him from?

Will this handsome stranger be able to help her to become the person she was before?


This is a first full novel written by Bree Kraemer. I was reading an unedited version so I’ll not point out errors and the like but instead I’ll talk about the controversy behind such a premise, the characters, the overall plot and how it all made me feel.

The author, Bree Kraemer brings us a very inspiring, funny and emotional story. It has wit, it has charm and the characters were very likeable and relatable. Just everyday people who experience things that anyone one of us could go through. I read it with a stupid grin on my face. Okay, fine, some parts made me sad and curse out loud.

I particularly loved it because of the main female lead, Samantha. After a very horrific and life-altering incident, she was willing to give living a shot. She didn’t let fear and ‘what-ifs’ dictate her life anymore. Sure, it took years for her to let anyone close but when she did, I truly felt inspired. Imagine a world where you avoid all human contact…you’re not a germaphobe but it’s still just as hard. Crowds make you nervous and elevators are a nightmare. How would you live?

As a female and being close to Samantha’s age, I felt really attached to her and felt her pain. The PTSD she had was believable and it touched me how her life was affected. But like most people who are hurting, she masked her pain with sarcasm, wit and jokes. I loved that because that’s how I usually live my life. It’s a better alternative to being moppy and wanting everyone to feel sorry for you…all the time.
I don’t know how long it takes someone to get over what happened to her so I can’t really comment on it much. But I can say the fact that she took a leap of faith and decided to not be afraid anymore really sat well with me.

Then, in walks Ethan. A man who signed up for the army straight out of high school. He has his own tragic story but like Samantha, he picked himself up and made something of his life. As someone who was in the army, Ethan came off as a ‘perfect’ gentleman. Notice how I write perfect? Yeah, well, that’s because perfection is so hard to achieve. He was caring, loving, funny and yep, attractive as heck. 

“Even blurry, he was handsome. Well, handsome really wasn’t the right word. He wasn’t hollywood handsome. He was real-life handsome.”– Only By His Touch

I laughed at this part. It made me happy. He came into her life and for the first time in a long time, Samantha felt alive again. He never rushed her to accept him or did anything to make her feel uncomfortable. He just wanted to spend time with her. It was nice to read.

“You can be gentle, rough or any other way there is, just as long as you’re with me.”– Ethan

I enjoyed how their story was written, the feelings were not forced and rushed. You could clearly see that it wasn’t love at first sight but a love that grew over a period of time and got stronger as they grew together. There conversations were natural and they both had great sense of humour. I love funny characters.

The other characters were likeable too. Well except one bitch who deserves a year behind bars or something. It was a welcome plot point that made the story even more real.

I’m a sucker for romance and when beautiful words are used I can’t help the feelings that start up in me. Come on, we love the notebook for a reason :). Every great relationship has bumps along the way and when you work through them, that’s when you become even stronger.
I loved the quote below a lot, I just had to share it. See if you can tell why…

“Say that you know that I want to try this too. Say that you’ll understand if we have to take it slow. Hell, say that you want me so much it might kill you, but please don’t say that you need to wait or walk away.”– Only By His Touch

There was enough drama and conflict but not too much that you cringe and think you’re watching a spanish telenovela. They say too much of anything is bad…well except books maybe and pineapples :D.

I’ve tagged the story as Erotic so I have to talk about the sex, right? Now again, I’m out of my element here -not talking about sex, I read Erotica, talking about sex has to be my element- but I mean just how sex would eventually happen for someone so traumatised. I don’t know anyone who’s ever gone through such and ordeal. So, I’ll talk about how it made me feel.

As with everything in the book, even these scenes where written so well. It didn’t come off as dirty or cheap. It didn’t make me want to wash my brain with soap and bleach. It was beautiful and it was hot. Okay, fine ‘hot’ is an understatement. It was panty-melting-lip-bitting-ice-cube-requiring sizzling hot. Ethan was one mean ‘cat-lover’ *wink *wink.
I should probably end there before I go full “Perve Mode”.

I will say this, however, even when she (the author) was hinting at sex, she made it all sound beautiful and made me happy.

“I’m asking you to make me forget. But more than that, I’m asking you to make me remember. Help me remember what it feels like to touch and be touched. Help remember why I should take chances. But most of all, help me remember that love always wins over fear.”– Only By His Touch.

Now I confess. At first I was a bit skeptical…I thought it was going to be another wounded-heroine-meets-hot-eye-candy-and-he-heals-her-with-his-magic-penis. You know the stories I’m talking about. You’ve probably read enough. You roll your eyes so much that you develop a headache. This however wasn’t like that…at all.
As a first novel, it was well executed.

That’s all for this review.

Follow me on twitter Dee@The perks


REVIEW: Tangled by Emma Chase

2 Jan

Drew Evans is a winner. Handsome and arrogant, he makes multimillion dollar business deals and seduces New York’s most beautiful women with just a smile. He has loyal friends and an indulgent family. So why has he been shuttered in his apartment for seven days, miserable and depressed?

He’ll tell you he has the flu.

But we all know that’s not really true.

Tangled is not your mother’s romance novel. It is an outrageous, passionate, witty narrative about a man who knows a lot about women…just not as much as he thinks he knows. As he tells his story, Drew learns the one thing he never wanted in life, is the only thing he can’t live without.

MY RATING: 5 stars

You ever start reading a novel and from the first sentence you just know that you’ll love it? If not, I feel nothing but pity for you. You can, however, remedy that and try reading Tangled.

Once I picked this one up I gobbled it up in one day. I couldn’t even sleep that night until I finished it. That should give you an idea of just how amazing a read it was. (Plus the 5 star rating is also a dead giveaway)

Tangled is a rib-cracking, face-palming, panty-melting, must-read sizzle-fest that will leave you satisfied and glad that you love books. This is the reason why I’ll forever be a reader, why I even started this blog in the first place. Once in a while you come across such works and it all makes sense.
Emma Chase really did a wonderful job on this one.

The characters were developed so well that you just can’t help but love and care for them. Sure, Drew is a giant douchebag from start to finish and most times I wanted to bash his stupid handsome face in but I’m not ashamed to admit that I enjoyed reading his story. He is funny and somewhat charming without really meaning to. Okay, fine…he does mean to. The guy has some warped ideals about women and the world in general. I loved reading the story from his point of view. You will seriously believe you’re in a guy’s head. It’s nasty, it’s funny and it’s 100% uncensored.

Exhibit A:
“Every healthy man in the world wakes up with a stiffy…A chance to begin the day with your best dick forward.”– Drew

I cracked up when I read this part. Like seriously, WTF?
I admit reading this book will have you rolling your eyes at him. You’ll be angry with him more times than you’ll count. The jerk compares having sex with different women to toothpaste . Seriously? Like I said, warped mind. You will curse, you will hate him but sooner or later you’ll just have to board the Drew express and like him like the rest of us.

Now on to the other character worthy of being talked about and praised. Katherine Brooks is the main female character in this book. She is strong. She is sassy. She is beautiful. She is dang ambitious. She isn’t a pushover and gave back as good as she got. So yeah, I absolutely adored her.
I loved that she stood her ground on things she believed in. She went after what she wanted with everything she had and didn’t let anyone get in the way of her path to success. She didn’t make it easy for him to be with her and I enjoyed that. A lot. He had to work for it. He had to earn her.

When it comes to the actual story, you might be thinking its your everyday, generic playboy-ass-meets-beautiful-woman-and-stops-his-dog-ways-as-he-falls-in-love-quicker-than-a-slut’s-knickers-drop. You’re right. And you’re also so wrong.
Emma Chase wrote this book in such a way that from the very first chapter, it distances itself from the other books that it might be compared to. It has to have a pedestal high up there with the other 5 star novels, looking down and smirking because it damn well knows all the ‘feels’ it gave me. Such a ride.

Okay, I have to go into my perve mode for this next part. I apologise in advance. It might get…graphic. But first….

Remember how the synopsis said, “this isn’t your mother’s romance novel”? Well, throw missionary and vanilla sex out of the boring window and prepare to have your mind blown as you have scotching-hot images etched in your brain that will leave you wanting a fan or a tub of ice.

Drew might have been king of the douches and all but when he set his mind on…um…loving Kate, all bets were off. In those moments, he could very well have been sent down to earth to love vag and worship it…one tantalising lick at a time. Check this out….

Exhibit B:
“God! Oh God!”
I smile as I pick up the pace, “God’s not the one fucking you, baby.”
Sure, I’m in love, but this is still me here.
Much better.

I found this funny…and kind of hot. (Don’t judge me.)

*Perve mode: OFF*

In conclusion I have to say, this truly is a must read for everybody (well, if they’re above 15 that is :D). I would recommend it for lovers of good witty books. I wouldn’t recommend it for anyone who believes in prince charming or guys who are above playing dirty.



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